Rite of Passage


Does anyone else feel like they are going through some kind of initiation or rite of passage in their life right now? Boy, I do.


Good news, I know what mine is. And fortunately there is no bad news. My rite of passage is a hurdle and one I’ve jumped before at different important moments in my life. Were it not for some signs of lack still in my life, I wouldn’t have seen where un-forgiveness, resentment, fear and pain still reside within me. These are the symptoms of an old wound that has become an old story that I’ve kept alive – a living history. I’ve not kept it alive intentionally of course, but subconsciously this stuff runs deep.


What I did not know before, and by know I mean feel deeply, was the amount of energy and power that this living history drains from me. All that energy to keep an old pain alive! It’s like I’ve left some huge program on in the background of my computer and its been draining juice. And, I’ve been trying to shut it down (let it go) for years!


Unconsciously I keep recreating similar scenarios in my life in (subconscious) optimism I will “wake up” and find a way to process the wound so I can make a new choice or see a new perspective and move forward. I have made progress at different moments in my life. I need to honor that. And, at the same time I know I’ve also cycled round and round, using old habits to not deal, winding into and out of this core issue expending an amazing amount of energy to keep myself safe from it. Deep inside, I assume I fear I’ll die if I actually felt that old pain plus all the interest it has accrued over the decades.


So how do you let go when you feel like you’ve done it a thousand times and yet you’re met with the issue again?


First, take a deep breath and be gentle. You’ve done nothing wrong by it being here. It’s not evidence you’ve failed, nor that you haven’t figured it out. It’s life and life comes in layers, or waves; whatever metaphor you like.


Second, look for any new information, insight or awareness around the issue that is different or new. Is there something happening in your life now that makes sense for this issue to come up again?


Third, use any healthy tools from the past that have helped you walk through challenging moments in life – i.e. journaling, mediation, books, a practitioner you trust…


Fourth, give yourself permission to be present and persistent. The issue could be coming up for a reason now, so give it loving attention to see what it is here to offer you and why now.


Finally, be open to the simple (albeit emotional) journey of shedding another layer of the onion. Letting go offers an opportunity for compassion, vulnerability and growth. Maybe that alone is enough of a good reason. Just remember to be specific when you talk about letting go…don’t be afraid to name it…it wants to leave…that’s why it came back in the first place. It is a chance to do it different.


If you have any questions or thoughts, please feel free to email me – lori@whereareyoustuckworkshop.com – subject “Rite of Passage”. Your question could be helpful to others. If so, with your permission, I may share it in a post.

Thanks for reading!


“The pleasure is all mine to finally let go.” – Bjork

(PHOTO above – www.listverse.com “10 Bizarre Rites of Passage” – Both a harvest ritual and a rite of passage amongst the tribes of the small pacific island of Vanuatu, land diving is now a tourist phenomenon. The men who live on Pentecost Island in Vanuatu, climb a rickety 98-foot-tall (30-meter) tower, tie vines to their ankles and dive to the ground, falling at speeds around 45 mph (72 kph).
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