Seat of Truth

 

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sitting

being honest with myself about how I feel

whether I share with others or not at this point is mute

will I allow myself the space and freedom

to be truthful about how I really feel about people,

places and things?

 

I have been sitting on my truth

holding it back and down like a smothered tiger

for fear, for acceptance, for a lack of knowing

it could be better

 

but my seat of truth is where all the creative

and powerful things live

all the chaotic and bombastic things live

the seat of my truth is where my intuition lives

the seat of my truth is where my life force and vitality live

the seat of my truth is where the wild things live…

 

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Both feet in!

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Each time we have made a decision and then allowed old conditioned responses or a lack of belief to undermine our decision we’ve created a groove in our mind/heart of disbelief. Each time we undermine our decision we deepen the groove that we don’t believe ourselves, we don’t believe in ourselves and we don’t trust we can change. We feel like we have one foot in and foot out.

It takes daily mindfulness and persistence to create a new groove, a new path.  Walking on the new path each day dissolves the old one. Renew your commitment to your decision each day and take a small action to support it…to show yourself you believe in it…that you believe in yourself.

Both feet in!

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Living Room Series

…returns through 2014.  One workshop per month. For more information about hosting or participating, read on…

The Living Room Series is a casual gathering hosted by a current or prospective client, in their living room, for people interested in learning a way to get unstuck by identifying their limited beliefs and patterns. The work is also helpful if you want movement forward in a certain area of your life; moving through a business or creative project; or preparing for or moving through a life change.

The participants can be friends, family or colleagues of the host, and/or I can assemble a group for the host of people who’ve expressed interest in attending.

My workbook, Where Are You Stuck?,  is the tool used to share the work.  The Living Room Series is offered one Sunday per month and it is 3-hours in length with a maximum of five participants. The cost is $45 which includes your copy of the workbook.

* Testimonials from previous workshops can be found on my website  www.whereareyoustuckworkshop.com.
* Read reviews of
 the workbook on Amazon. Simply click the Buy On Amazon button under the picture of the workbook on my website. It will direct you to the amazon site. 

To participate, host or have questions, email lori@whereareyoustuckworkshop.com

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My String of Repressed Words

Even though I finished my workbook pages almost a month ago, the self-awareness available is an onion continually being peeled. You think you find the core and damn it, the onion is infinite!  The realizations of the past few days were no different.  I’ve written in my last few posts about my string of repressed words that I pulled when doing the daily writing exercise. There were five consecutive days in particular that stood out.  I’ve listed them below along with a “cliff-note” version of what the word/phrase had meant to me. At the end of this post I share my new beliefs/affirmations.

Sitting On It – Holding myself back or suppressing the feeling, knowledge or action I have to do or change something.  I believe I am safer to do nothing.

Holding & Waiting – Waiting for an external authority to tell me it was the right time to move. Even better, make it happen for me. To give it to me.

Suppression – I believe emotions were bad. I felt embarrassed by them, at times I felt ridiculed for them, more so by myself than others. I believe emotions were to be kept to yourself. I learned to hide them away and contrarily, I wore them on my sleeve.

Can’t Work – I believe what I want can’t work. What I want is not smart, stable or financially supportive. I cannot create it. I am not doing it right, therefore I cannot have it. I believe my way is the wrong way. I am supposed to do it “their” way.  And, “their” way didn’t work either.

Withholding/Self-repression – I believe I am unsafe to be expressive and that the fear of being judged, not accepted or unloved facilitates my withholding that exploration and expression of myself.  Self-repression meant to dismiss intuitive impulses, to dismiss what’s important to me and hold back natural inclinations.

Waiting – I believe waiting means someone or something creates what I want but not me. I believe there is another “out there” who knows more and they have the power to create for me. I just need to figure out what they want me to do, be or say. I believe waiting is a virtue like patience and someday, if I’m good, I’ll get mine. I believe I am waiting for permission.

It’s astonishing I’ve survived this long without a straight jacket.  Needless to say my Higher Self had my attention.  Pulling those words, one after the other, and seeing clearly the ripple effect the act of self-suppressing had on my life left me slack-jawed.  Although they all appear to be the same, each one affected my life in a slightly different way. I couldn’t compartmentalize suppressed emotions and believe it wouldn’t affect my body, mind or spirit. But then I didn’t know I was self-repressing (insert carnival music here).

Last year I shared my desire to expand my practice. What I realized I meant was, I want to do more of it to make more money so I can experience the other desires of my life.  My practice is actually quite fine as it is.  For years I was able to navigate an organic relationship growing my practice but now I consciously wanted change. What I thought were organic intuitive impulses I discovered was “trying”, which fell limp.  I’d return to stillness and listening for cues. Nothing. What I didn’t understand until now was that I felt lost and my old habits (listed above) kicked in.  I was waiting to see a path, be given an external sign or cue like the ole’ days.  The discomfort of the unknown sent me to the comfort of familiarity.  At this point, I wanted to stop writing this post and balance my checkbook.

But the answer wasn’t unknown, just forgotten.

I thought the answer to my life expanding was my practice expanding, so then I’d have the money to expand my life. But I was putting focus on what didn’t want more energy and took it off what did. My answer was put love, attention and energy to the things I want to expand and let my practice be what it is. It flourishes under unconditional love – all people and things do.  So if I want to own a home, I put my love (read: focus) onto owning a home. My daily practice becomes finding fun ways to enjoy my homeownership today, like go to Home Depot and photograph the free-standing claw-foot tub I want, draw the layout of my vegetable garden, search cities I want to live in and the like. Leave out my fear of money, reasons it won’t happen or worry about how to make it happen – that is repression.  I don’t need to focus on money but on what I want the money for.

And…now I will do the same with my practice. Love it for all that I do and know it is perfect as it is in this moment.  All the rest I leave in the competent “hands” of the Universe.

Lori

 

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Oh, My Childish Things…

dr.seuss

I’d like to follow up on an aside I threw out in my last post. Day 18 I learned I believed following my heart is a danger to my survival.  I know, it sounds dramatic, but go with me here.

First, quick correction, it was Day 17 but who else would know but me. Second, the word I pulled on this revelatory day was “Withholding/Self-repression”. (more on my string of “repressed” word pulls in another post).

Growing up, I didn’t feel comfortable with my emotions, nor expressing them. At least the non-happy ones.  I see it now in children close to me, a burst of hurt, anger, frustration or something and then the reaction to that feeling.  There can be crying, pouting, fist throwing, sulking or screaming. Then I see the adult response of “what’s the matter?”, “what’s wrong?”, trying to figure out how to soothe, calm and make whatever has the child okay. This scenario can play out in a hundred ways and I know you all can either recall or imagine what they are.  Looking back through my history, I think I felt judged for my emotions and how they came out.  Others responded to me probably much in the same way I do when I’m the adult in the room. I do my best to soothe, communicate and then I just sit and let the child work through it or fall asleep. (I’m sure there are other better techniques).

As a child/teen, the judgment I thought I felt from others, I felt ten times more towards myself.  From there, I didn’t learn what my emotions were or what they were for.  Who teaches that class? That’s been part of the journey of my life.  Instead, I adopted self-protection, a guard, a mask in order to manage what I didn’t understand but feared.  The fear of not being accepted or loved because I’m a horribly emotional bad person.  The fear then facilitated my suppressing exploring and expressing myself. Beliefs then developed, like I believe it is unsafe to be expressive, I believe I’ll be judged for how I feel, what I do or what I believe. I am wrong, bad, broken and need to be fixed. Something is wrong with me. (Gosh that’s a lot of baggage).

Self-repression is another way of being withholding. Repression…expression…hmmmm.  To me is means to dismiss intuitive impulses or desires, to create a reason why what I’m interested in or want is unimportant, frivolous, expensive, not valuable and reject it.  Why I am not worthy of it.  It means holding back natural inclinations that help me grow as a person and to allow the experiences that show me who I am. It means pouring water (named self doubt, second guess or lack of worthiness) on my fire. I discovered I believed it is necessary to do that to function in the world. (I now understand I can create my own.)

When I withhold my heart-centered desires, I feel lost.  I don’t function in the world I’m supposed to nor the one I want to. I fear because of that early confusion and how I interpreted “societies” beliefs, I believed I was wrong. Due to that, I developed the belief that following my heart will bankrupt me, is idealistic and will make me not pay attention to my responsibilities. I’ll be “caught up” and won’t pay attention to the things I’m supposed to do – go to work, pay bills, make money, pay taxes, get a degree, a husband, kids and be happy.  I learned in this writing that following my heart will lead to “childish” things and they can’t live harmoniously with “adult” things. I believe they can’t live together, that childish things like creativity, play, joy, love, abundance are irresponsible and that money, safety, security, career, health are responsible and I believe they can’t co-exist. Therefore, I believe following my heart is a danger to my survival. It’s not true, but its what I was believing. So when I feel joy, no money and when there is money, no joy? Numerous versions of that belief have played out in my life.

Now that I know, I can let those old beliefs go. Now that I know, I change it.  And instead know those “adult” things can contribute to the beauty of my life as well as those “childish” things. I choose to believe now that they do live harmoniously. And, I believe following my heart is the way to my most abundant, thriving, loving, creative life and it includes the whole of myself. I lovingly embrace all aspects of myself without fear or judgment.

If any of this resonates for you, please feel free to share in the comment section at http://whereareyoustuckworkshop.com/blog/

Lori
www.whereareyoustuckworkshop.com

 

 

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Disciple of the Heart

A gift to myself on Christmas Day was starting my workbook, Where Are You Stuck?, a 21-day writing exercise. For a while I have felt a pull to expand my practice and yet at each turn I am met with what I believe I’m supposed to do versus what I organically want to do. Even when I think I’m aligned with a choice that could be a “should”, I later realize I lined myself up in order to do what I thought I was supposed to. Yikes! Using my powers against myself.

It’s good information. But I know me better now, after all these years, and I make the decision again to sit still and listen. The workbook is a way to have a deeper conversation with myself about these questions.

On Day 16, I pulled the word discipline. This word has always been rife with problems for me. I’ve spent a lot of time with this word, exploring its meaning to me and the beliefs I hold around it. You have no discipline and therefore you’re weak. You’re not strong enough. You can’t stick with anything. There’s something wrong with you.  Those were just some of my old inner dialogues. Discipline had meant rigidity, lack of joy and doing what I don’t want to get the results I do want (or should want). I’ve filled journals on the inner strife with this topic. And yet, on this day I realized something new…what discipline means to me now.

Discipline means following my heart, my intuitive impulses, connecting and following what has pleasure and interest to/for me and trusting that path leads to and creates my full, supportive, loving and prosperous life. Discipline means following those heart-centered intuitive impulses faithfully, even when my fear and resistance gives me all the reason in the world to not. Wow! It was no longer intellectual to follow my heart.  I could feel the difference.

I’ve understood the idea of following my heart and, yes, felt it at times, but never had I felt so deeply what it means to follow it now.  It means, allowing trial and error to get to know myself.  It means knowing where the line between “should” and “what I want” are for me in order to choose my heart-lead desire. It means tuning in, listening and trusting to take that action that my heart is offering without being dismissive, diminishing or self-critical. Time and money were the two main culprits that would undermine my choice to follow my heart.  When I discipline myself to listen to and follow my heart, I know I am on the path I set out for this life. Day 18 I learned I believed following my heart is a danger to my survival (more on that in my next post). I did clean it up of course.

I looked back on my writing, and on Day 13 learned what was in my way that lead to this new understanding. I learned I’ve been consciously (and subconsciously) holding and waiting in my life. For what? you ask. I was living in waiting (holding) for God/Source/Universe/Higher Self (fill in your higher “other” here) to do something, make “it” happen, something, to give me what I wanted in life. I was waiting for the clues and commands from a higher authority to indicate I could have want I wanted  by “it” giving it to me.  I believed there was this external authority that I had to figure out and please in order to have what I wanted. In the past, I even viewed certain people in my life as much a god of my circumstances as I did God/Source. And yet, I believe my world is a reflection of my inner life, a mirror of my beliefs which would then mean the “person” in the mirror is me…waiting. And that’s what I got.

When I believe I am the author(ity) of my life, then my choice to act or be still comes from within. God/Source is within me, not outside me. I’ve been waiting for me.

And now that I know, I can change.  I let go of “waiting”. I take my cues from within and trust the Universe is on my side, creating along with me.

 

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Living Room Series 2014

Living Room Series teleconference:

What Do You Want to Know? Going In to Find Out.

My First Workshop of 2014!

 

It feels fitting to announce my new teleconference on a full moon and just yesterday having completed the workbook for myself. My final word was experiment, but more on my experience later.

I will be hosting a 4-week teleconference leading a group through my workbook, Where Are You Stuck?.  Since 2010, I’ve given the Living Room Series as a one-time, 3-hour workshop introducing people to my work and getting them started with the workbook. In the few times I have been there to meet people again at the end of the 21 days, I’ve heard it was easier having the support during the process and closure at the end.  I’ve created this course so we can walk through it together.

The workshop will begin on Sunday February 2, 2014 from 4pm to 6pm and will continue Sunday February 9th, 16th and 23rd at the same time.  The teleconference will be recorded, so if you are unable to make one of the dates, you will receive a recording of all four sessions.

The focus of the workshop is to gain clarity on the limiting beliefs and patterns that are either causing a feeling of being stuck or a feeling of no movement in your life. In the end, you get clear on your individual obstacles and a pathway through them. If you are not feeling stuck or stagnant, this workbook is just a wonderful way to deepen your connection to where you already are.

The workbook is a 21-day daily writing exercise that helps you to identify where you are stuck, what you desire and want, and what you believe your obstacles to be.  This is a journey of self-knowledge to develop and/or deepen self-trust.  Self-trust is key to connect you to your intuition as well as fostering a deeper relationship to it. The more keenly you are connected with your intuition and trust that inspired action/inaction, you create the life you desire.

I know I know and the rest is noise.  You have all your answers within you. The exploration with the workbook, and myself as your guide, will lead you to understand patterns and cycles in your life and see clear to what your beliefs are. From there, you can rewrite them anew and in that strength of knowing yourself make a new choice – choose different – and watch your life shift towards were you want it to be.

Materials: Where Are You Stuck? workbook.  The workbook is available for purchase on Amazon.  You will find reviews about the workbook on the site.  Go to www.whereareyoustuckworkshop.com – click on the “Buy on Amazon” button.

 

Cost: $49 + the cost of the workbook ($13.46 + shipping)

Payment: Paypal (which supports the following credit cards – Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover, JCB, Diner’s Club and EnRoute).

 

Payment deadline: Must be received by noon Sunday, February 2nd. (24-hour cancellation for full refund).

 

To register for the workshop email lori@whereareyoustuckworkshop.com – subject: LRS teleconference 2014

 

Please forward the information to any family or friends you feel would enjoy this workshop.

 

For more information about me, go to http://www.whereareyoustuckworkshop.com

Happy Full Moon!

Lori

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Money To Flow

freeimages.co.uk light and pattern images

 

Today the wheels have been turning and its time to share.  I felt the need to stretch and gain clarity so I decided to start my workbook today. I’ll share as it feels relevant or interesting in the coming weeks.

I’ve already completed my Day 1 entry and my word was “money to flow”. I circle phrases as well as single words. For those who haven’t done the workbook, the daily writing exercise includes choosing a word from a bowl each day to write on. You’ve filled that bowl with words from your own writing…and today mine was “money to flow”.

I realized I had an intellectual understanding that money flows and it sounds good when I say it, however upon deeper investigation I discovered I believe money is actually finite. Yes, I believe money flows in and I believe something usually arises just as quickly for money to flow out. AND, and this is a big “AND” is seems to stay in the same amount of money, never really growing. When it does, it goes out again and returns to my set barometer of how much money is okay for me to have (by my belief standards).

Even more interesting to me is the belief that I always have enough (basic needs) and just next door is the belief that its never enough (to grow, expand or change). The mirror of this external experience is the internal belief that I am not enough and I am always enough. (I so thought it was about money, but no). My basic needs are met but not my desires. Guess where that leads me? Stuck.

Yep, don’t think I don’t see the irony of my own workbook title. Why do you think I do this?  Stuck…I don’t believe I have the ability to change my own experience and I therefore make choices that reinforce my stuck-ness. I feel capped.

Good news! This is a belief and a belief can be changed. I know the early experiences that created the belief and I am willing to change it.

I believe I am expansion, movement and growth and there is plenty for all. I am infinite. I am the power to change my own life and experience. I am co-creation with the Universe (which I’m a part of). 

I know the word I pulled was about money and the belief I discovered and changed was my belief about myself…they are connected. Money is energy. I am energy. Money is currency, a flow of in and out, give and take…so am I. When I adjust my beliefs and practice them, I will in turn adjust my experience of money.

The only obstacles are forgetting this discovery, not practicing my new beliefs through daily actions and not connecting with Universe for support and guidance.

What do you believe about money? What do you believe about yourself?

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Practicing Imperfection

overcoming-perfectionism1

The perfection I’m talking about is actually perfectionism.  If that resonates, read on.

As perfectionists, we want to make everything we are and do ‘perfect’ to avoid being judged. It is a way of creating safety. If I’m perfect at this or do it perfectly, they won’t judge me.  There are two possible side effects of perfectionism – rigidity and procrastination.  Growing up feeling judged, we may not want to try anything new or experiment for fear of that judgment. Rigidity can create an all or nothing response to the world.  I’m on or I’m off. I’m good or I’m bad. I’m right or I’m wrong. I won or I failed. And this can lead to feeling stuck…because if I can’t do it perfect, I won’t do it at all.

Procrastination occurs when we want to try something new or to make a change but the fear of judgement or failure are too hard to manage.  As a child it is usually parental judgment we want to avoid, but any authority can stir the fear. As we get older, it is our own critical thoughts we want to get away from. So we simply don’t. But, time passes and the desire for change builds up again, higher than our fear. We try again. Yet, if we don’t do it perfect, at any point breaking the image we expect this experience to be, we berate ourselves for not being good enough and stop.

In the truth of who we are, we are perfect. Know that. In a mortal context, we’re not supposed to be. Life is trial and error (aka – your creativity). Find what you love. Find what you don’t. Experiment. Keep what you like. Get rid of what you don’t like. How do you know? Try it. You have intuition as a tool…your guidance system. Learn it. Love it. Use it. If you don’t have a relationship with your intuition, today’s the day to start (more on that subject later).  Image you’ve landed on an alien planet and your intuition is the only device on the planet to guide you on how to survive…would you learn it?  To learn, we practice, we try and we error. You won’t break intuition. Play with it.

Practice Imperfection – pick one thing you would like to learn, change or experience.  Start manageable. i.e Walk daily, only one cup of coffee a day, keep it simple.

At the top of a blank piece of paper write your experiment and number down the page one through seven. Each day you will do (or not do) that thing. Whatever your experience, good, bad, ugly, indifferent, write it down. Keep it simple. If day one you did it, just put a heart. Day two you didn’t, write what happened and so on. This isn’t about good or bad, right or wrong or being good enough. This exercise is about learning about you. How you work? What you notice about yourself and your needs? What works for YOU?  At the end of seven days look over how it went. Do you see a pattern? Or theme? What could you take away from that experiment?

To practice something we want to change or learn, gives us the opportunity to know who we are, to experience ourselves. Knowing who we really are, not who we think you should be or what we should be doing, allows for acceptance.  From acceptance we can embrace our life or change it with love.

If you decide to do an experiment, or have questions, post in the comments section. I’d love to hear about it. I’m with you.

Lori

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Welcome!

Welcome to the Where Are You Stuck Workshop Blog. Here you will find articles and content to support you through the Where Are You Stuck Workshop. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to CONTACT ME. Thank you!

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